he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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