Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
