Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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