I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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