Small penises have feelings too.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
