I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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