i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
