Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
