My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
