Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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