So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
