She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
