Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I AM VODKA MAN
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
