but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
