If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
