I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
