can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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