he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize