I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
