They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize