i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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