Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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