All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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