Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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