My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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