I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
