if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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