do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
