I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
