Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
