and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
