rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
