he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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