Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.

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(708): View more from Illinois

i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next

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(512): View more from Texas

I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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(845): View more from New York

Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.

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(281): View more from Texas

So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.

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(847): View more from Illinois

you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that explains so much

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