Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
