i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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