I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
