is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
