Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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