if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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