Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
