His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
