we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize