I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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