he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you will always have a special place in my vag
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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