i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
