I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
