oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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