I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
