party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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