did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
