I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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