No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize