69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
