He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
