I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
