i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
