Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
