i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize